Dodging Bullets (not really)

Sadly, none of us are immune to death, by illness, murder or suicide.  Following the awful and tragic mass shooting in Lewiston, Maine on October 25, 2023, I kept hearing "I never thought this would happen in Maine."  I was surprised at how many people don't see the unpredictability of human behavior and are numb to the feelings emotions that live in their bodies. 
We now know, and have for many years that traumatic events, and adverse childhood experiences cause a person to feel "disconnected" from themselves and others.  This disconnection informs development and thinking and beliefs over time.  As someone who experienced attachment challenges early and throughout my younger years I have learned and explored what this has created in my nervous system and my mind and also how this impacts my relationships.  Fortunately, by exploring child development and brain development as well as the development of the mind, ,body and spirit connections, I now understand how things are unfolding in my life and continue to explore challenges as they provide me with opportunities to grow and gain wisdom. 
Having worked with children and families for so many years as a speech language pathologist I had case after case to analyze and examine.  Who were the children?  How old were they? What was happening in the family?  What was the pregnancy and birth like? What did the family experience during the child's youngest years? If the parents had experienced adversity, how had they healed or not?  There are many questions I can ask and they all explain what happened and why the child and/or adults are struggling.  I asked these same questions of my own development.  It all adds up.

So why don't people want to talk about Trauma?  I hear it's painful.  I must ask, what is more painful, exploring past experiences and making sense out of them, healing and creating a healthy life or being the victim or observer of mass shootings, and continued abuse and war as well as the dreaded high rate of addiction and suicide?

Get hooked on healing!

I have asked this question to many people who are on the healing journey and they are hooked on healing.  Some are in Recovery programs such as AA.  Is it easy?  No.  That seems to be the rub.  We all want life to be easy, make a lot of money and have no pain.  Guess what!  That is not what life is about.  If you're not feeling, you're not healing and your very likely are hurting yourself and others in the process. There are many ways to heal.  And it is a life long process.  The life expectancy for people who have not addressed their trauma is way less than those who do.

So I ask you: Why are people dodging bullets when we can figure out why people are pulling the trigger on themselves and others? 

Every person who shoots others has a story.  And subsequently each person impacted by the shooting and their family has a new layer of trauma added to their story.
You have trauma! You experienced the Covid-19 Pandemic, you likely have had other experiences that are creating stress and anxiety or depression in your life. The "status quo" is people being over weight, having chronic health conditions, alcohol and drug abuse.  We think it's OK.  We think it's "normal" .  Well there is no normal.  There are individual people who have individual stories that are wired for connection and are not able to access it for a number of reasons.  And if we don't do our individual healing the number of deaths and the violence will continue to increase.  Want more information:  The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate

Why are some people so uncomfortable talking about the elephant in the room?
What if we ALL engaged in a process of recovery and surrounded one another with opportunities to be honest and open with our "demons" or challenges and realized that we were not alone?

We are all on this journey.  It's time to stop pointing fingers at "them", "those people with mental health challenges"  "those crazy people" "those people who were failed by the system" and  "The system who failed them/us".  It's time to be accountable for your own story, and your own challenges so you can show up and have empathy for your family, neighbors and friends and strangers who are courageous enough to reach out and ask for support.

For more information about how I can support you on your healing journey  set up a call here.